Two poems in this issue April 2021.
501s is an example of how I use poetry writing to cope with/ process my husband's chronic health issues. Written in 2016, it's one of my first poems, and it was rejected ten times before its acceptance by Black Moon.
With Regret is based on a mixed emotion with a back story. One Spring morning while walking to work, I noticed a small, grey catbird delicately hopping down the Ridge Road curb. The next morning, the bird was there again, at the bottom of the sharp curve in the road that hugs the ridge's high point. The third morning, I noticed a mound of grey feathers in the middle of the road.
The bird's death got me wondering if I could have saved it. Maybe I should have realized something was wrong with it. If I had, I could have looked for its nest, or brought it home.
The thought of bringing it home got me imaging what it would have been like to turn a wild thing into a pet. The idea both thrilled and appalled me. Connecting with and being accepted by something wild sounded exciting. Conversely, being responsible for unwilding something felt sacrilegious.
In writing the poem, I leaned into the thrill side of the experience. I intended the poem to express humanity's selfish impulse. The speaker looks at another's tragedy, and only thinks about her lost opportunity. Her regret is somewhat for the bird, but it is mostly for herself.
Written in 2018, I'd never submitted it because I'd never found a journal that felt like a good fit for this poem. Not until I discovered Black Moon that is. Their mission statement speaks of artistic attunement to experience, which aptly expresses this poem's origins.
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