Not Me is the god who shows up when I pray

 

Not Me Bolsters

I    am    a    stress    fractured

tibia

unable    to    support    body

weight

forward    momentum

terminated

Not Me is an air cast

compressing broken bits

cushioning each new step

Not Me is the god who shows up when I pray

 

Not Me Swells like Mahler’s Symphony Number Two, the Fifth Movement

I am a flat line⎹ precise graphite⎹ mark on page

Not Me begins as nightingale flute call

to which a mourning dove sighs a reply

first solo, then duet of grief, then the full choir is mummering

now the strings are shedding tears, now the horns are wailing

now the whole orchestra interludes in ascending scales

climbing from whip-poor-will weeping to meadow lark’s trill

next organ interjects, holding onto a clarion hawk cry

finally, the cathedral bells chime their dawn greeting song

―――――

Informed by “Mahler Listening Guide Symphony no. 2 in C Minor (“Resurrection”)”

Bettie Jo Basinger  https://utahsymphony.org/explore/2014/11/mahler-2-listening-guide/

A friend said she knows but has a difficult time remembering that God sees her as a gift

Not Me is the God who shows up when I prayer

 

Not Me is Steady

chuga-chuga steam whistles out my

ears / I am loco-motive forward motion

racing rails  in a  rush  to build up  thrill /

Not-Me is a piling driven thirty feet deep

Support structure securing pier through 

storms / Stable despite waves beatings 

Wooden planks are made to

break away under pressure

Timbers are meant to set

into ocean-floor muck

endure salty sea air

The Anit-Fascist Playbook

  

while the Strongmen pump iron

we will groom each others nails

every color of the spectrum welcome

if he wants Hot Pink Flamethrower

if she needs Goth Black Funeral

if they seek Drop Green Fabulous

then there it is

while the Strongmen flex

we will stylize

every fancy tickled

if he wants hearts and glitter

if she needs skulls and daggers

if they seek beads and rhinestones 

then let it be

and for those expressing manicures

neatly trimmed

lightly buffed

unadorned

then that too can be accommodated

 

Wrangling Figures

Photo by Shabakin

 

Two herders     one red merle with copper white trim

the other Aussie Shepherd   black with blue swirls

red is larger than black&blue      less intense than little

I’ve seen them on runs    leashes at maximum extension

little leading big by a nose

Today they are in Sit position at their person’s feet

she’s scrolling a screen      they’re staring down a path

which I walk along       then glancing back

try to line up their gaze with an object

rabbit or squirrel or bird of gripping interest

They’re mirror expressions as they scan passersby

playing their intent eyes over features

dismissing strangers   seeking familiar

looking for a known pattern

gait, scent, hair, shape composing Theirs

Turning away I wonder if that’s my look at work

focused on dual monitors     data streaming by

letting formulas filter numbers for me

until a meaningful trend emerges

my accounting brain wags

 

January Free Generative Writing Workshop

 

 

photo by Tom Cochrane

 

 

 

 Victory Dance

I’m exultant on my in-laws’ upper landing
daylight trying to reach me through staircase window
glass expanse from midway landing to crown molding

wooden floorboards creak beneath me
in front of my husband’s boyhood bedroom
where we live

I’m celebrating an acceptance
a paper I’ll present to academics at a conference
like I’ve thought thoughts that will make me famous

swing fists in front of hips
pulse together twice without touching
thrust hips backwards in time to pulses

then swing fists behind hips
pulse together twice without touching
thrust hips forward in time to pulses

like I wrote words upending scholarly worlds
“I’m a rockstar, Baby” I belt shamelessly
cheeks-flushed triumphant adjacent to the light